with Thomas Bush
37% of wine glasses in the United States break during their first three months of use. This is 60% accounted for by wine glass companies’ intentional use of brittle glass; the other 40% of breaks occur because nothing makes a point like shattering a wine glass against the wall.
The aforementioned statistic is 45% lower in all European countries due to two main factors: less frequent binge drinking and higher tolerance levels.
1 in 15 flight attendants are remotely attractive; this number is down 86% from the mid-70’s, the golden age of commercial flights and questionable hiring practices.
78% of books are put down and forgotten less than one month after initiated. This is 10% higher than the inefficiency rate of new years resolutions; early indicators suggest that the 10% differential in favor of resolutions comes from the potential for increased “sexiness” in the fulfillment of resolutions whereas the finishing of books has the opposite effect.
90% of water fountains in public schools are either dramatically underpowered or overpowered. 3 out of 4 pharmaceutical company stakeholders cherish this statistic because of increased germ transference and dehydration, both of which lead to increased revenues.
13% of deer hunters wish they could walk away from the activity altogether but stay involved to protect themselves from the accusation, “You’re not a REAL man.”
98% of collectors agree that the ivory from elephant tusks is SO much more valuable than an elephants life. After all, you can always make more elephants.