Bumper Sticker Kind of Woman


Our protagonist, whose name escapes me, notices a liberal bumper sticker on the car in front of her. It’s cleverer than most. It criticizes the president’s lack of environmental action through pun. She smiles and wonders if she should go online and order this bumper sticker or one like it. After all, she is dissatisfied with the federal government’s cowardice, the way they cater to auto and oil companies. She remembers, though, that bumper sticker jokes wear out fast. And she has close friends who are conservative. She doesn’t hide her politics from these friends but the bumper sticker, she decides, would come off as pretty smug. Then she thinks, Plus, the trouble with putting a political position on a car is that I’m not always the best driver. What if I cut someone off and then fuel their hatred towards liberals? Then she wonders, Has a bumper sticker ever changed my mind? About anything? It is nighttime and lights are flashing at her, encouraging her to spend money. The world is sending clever sound byte-size messages to her. Too many messages. What this comes down to, what this really comes down to, she decides, is this: Am I a bumper sticker kind of woman? She is not.

8 thoughts on “Bumper Sticker Kind of Woman

  1. Tom says:

    I love it. Obviously this has incredible potential to be made into a country song

  2. dude…. this was brilliant. I love the little creative bursts like this… keep ’em coming.

  3. Gabe says:

    Thanks! I will attempt to bring the bite-sized fiction to GRC as often as brain permits.

  4. Concerned Mom says:

    It was actually a “No Fat Chicks” bumper sticker that got me on Weight Watchers. So that pretty much destroys the thesis of your petty story.

  5. Brittany says:

    I always liked “Don’t stop for chunkies.”

  6. Gabe says:

    Ukrainian representative Brittany Kay, everybody! Our audience is far-reaching, indeed.

  7. Concerned Daughter says:

    Yeah right Mom, like you ever got anywhere on Weight Watchers. If you had put as much effort into weight watchers as you put into your cheap shots on this website, maybe Daddy wouldn’t have had to go away! And maybe if you would LISTEN to me once in a while, you would REALIZE that Thomas Bush is a really nice guy who thinks im pretty and cares about my feelings! He loves me and just because you don’t doesn’t mean you should hate GRC!!!

  8. That man is interested in ONE THING. And you encourage it in those trampy little skirts.

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